Those were the days .............What are we missing now???

(Thanks, Pic courtesy-Facebook) (likereallifeblog.com)

Many of us who grew up during the  70's 80's and even the 90's would concur  with my  viewpoints.

When I was young, we never had computers, televisions or video games.  All that we had were friends and more friends who were in no dearth and would collect in a place for their daily quota of play.

There were no gender bias. All can participate in any game according to their tastes or form the cheer squad.  The schools did not run in shifts as they do today.  So, almost all the schools used to get over by 4 in the evening and we used to assemble for the daily show at 5 pm prompt.  After the exchange of the daily news and views, the game of the day begins.

It usually begins with a warm up of just running across the length of the streets (mind you, there was not much traffic in the sub-streets).  The game selection depends on the season too.  Be it cricket, Gilli-danda, Pambaram or the top, Hide and seek, 7 stones, Pallankuzhi, Snakes &  Ladders, Ludo, Carrom board, Making boats during monsoon etc etc. The list is endless.

We had to very very careful during the play of some games like "Gilli danda" and cricket as we have broken many a panes and reprimanded severely sometimes.  Teams for cricket are divided according to the capacity of each player.  Three sticks would serve as stumps and a carved bat of wood with tennis ball would complete the cricket kit. 

"Pambaram" or the "Spin Top" was one of my favourite and those lovely colorful tops of wood bought from the Corner shop used to be real fun. The top comes with a long thread which is wound on the grooves  and then pulled with a jerk and tossed on  the ground.  The top keeps spinning for a long time and the one which does for a long time emerges a clear winner.  Again, we used to spin the tops in the middle of our palm too. 

During the game of Hide and Seek we can see the most of the girls hiding behind the huge trees or behind the compound wall but the boys invariably will be on the tree top hiding behind the lush green branches or sometimes on the house top.  Making boats out of newspapers and making them float on the channelised rain water on either side of the streets is fun. 

Snakes and Ladders used to be a favourite during the Vaikuntha Ekadasi day when the local daily  used to give a free supplement of the game alongwith the paper.  We used to be awake the whole night playing and visit the nearby temple's 'Sorga vaasal' (Gate to Heaven)  the next morning. The spirit and the excitement were abundant.

The games used to extend till the daylight fades and each one gets a call from their mothers to get inside the house.  The end of play is mostly determined by the switching on of street lights.  Although we used to play for long hours, still we used to sulk while returning back home and would not disperse till we decide the game plan for the next day.

Once home, after a quick bath, still there was enough time to do our daily studies before a sumptuous simple home cooked dinner.  

Its a pity to see young children running around to tuition classes, filled with heavy homework sessions , project works etc., thus finding very little time left to play.  If at all, time is available, can see them either with their parents mobile,  playing games or sitting in front of the television.  No doubt, competition has become multi fold nowadays, but still the childhood should not be lost.  

Half hour of outdoor play will clear the stress and anxiety in a child developed during the day.    The child will be able to focus more and of course stay healthy too.  

Hence, the debate continues whether Technology and its advancement is a Boon or a Bane 

Where does parenting end?????

This is a very thought provoking title and very sensitive too. I just returned to my place of residence after my second daughter's wedding. And when I met my friends here, the only question posed to me was that as both my children are married, and so now WHAT? I never had an answer for this question. But, this thought of raising children and letting them go and being empty handed now left me puzzled about life.Hence, thought of penning a few words on it.

" Parenting is the process of promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social, and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood. Parenting refers to the activity of raising a child rather than the biological relationship." - Wiki

The job of parenting begins as soon as the woman conceives. The announcement of the arrival, shopping for the baby, the planning as to who would be coming to help at the time of labor etc etc. When the D-day arrives, all hell break loose. All planning goes into doldrums. Path of life moulds and moves alongwith the moods of the baby including the daily routine of the parents. As the child grows, the individual man and woman begin to come together alongwith the child to become a family, Then on, their life starts centering around the child. It is a very busy cycle and the parents also grow up alongwith the child,  till they reach their mid 50's. This is the time when their children are either attending college or at work and mostly away from home

I ponder to myself as to how my parenting time went by. Sitting back and thinking hard, I am left with only a blank. No account at all of those days, as it just vanished in a jiffy, but I was busy nurturing them, thinking about their future and the day to day solutions, unforeseen problems etc etc. At the end of all these activities, all I could see were two grown up daughters who were ready to begin a life of their own.

As a parent, I feel content when I see them settling down with their respective spouses. I feel a sense of achievement having showed them the right path in life which has made them wonderful human beings. . When I hear them narrating some incidents of their daily life, I feel it is only a replay of mine. So, this is only a vicious circle which my mother would have felt when I left her and now I am feeling the same.

But, the duty does not end there. New relationships tag us along into a new circle of which we need to play our part. I wish to continue being a parent, may not be an active member in their day to day life, but be there whenever they want me.

Now, I have an answer to the question :):) This is a continuous process which originates when we give birth to them and that does not have an end.

A cup of hot coffee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As I am sipping my morning coffee, I am drifted back to Chennai. The best coffee I have ever had is of course brewed by my mother. We had a traditional manual, metal coffee grinder attached to a wooden shelf. Amma used to buy 'A' and 'P' raw coffee berries and store them. Daily evening, she used to roast these berries in dry kadai and cool it for grinding. I cannot express in words the aroma of the roasting  bean. It used to be my daily job to dry grind the coffee powder for the next day.

There was no storing of milk in the fridge as we do nowadays. Early morning, the milkman used to come with a couple of cows and buffaloes. He will start milking after showing the container to us. It is assumed that the container does not have any water inside. Within 10 minutes, we can get frothy fresh milk which goes into a vessel for boiling. Meanwhile, the coffee powder goes into a filter and hot boiling water is poured into it. If we need thick decoction, less water has to be put. Within 15 minutes, thick first decoction is obtained.

Coffee is prepared in a vessel by adding milk, little water, sugar and the decoction. The prepared coffee is poured in stainless steel tumblers which is kept on a small bowl called 'Davara'. This 'Davara' serves as a bowl to cool the coffee and drink if someone finds it very hot.  Then hot water is again poured into the filter to obtain the second decoction which is slightly a diluted version. Sometimes, when we have many guests, Amma used to take out her big brass coffee filter which used to accommodate around 200 gms of powder at one time.

Not a day goes by, without a guest at home coming around in the morning for Amma's coffee.  I remember my Appa's friends who just drop in to say 'Hello' and have a cup of coffee and leave. Those were the times when guests could drop in at any time of the day.

No matter what the temperature is in Chennai, we do not mind a hot cup of coffee in the morning. I have my traditional filter here and get a Kilo of ground coffee powder from 'Coffee Day' and store it and would enjoy filter coffee till the powder gets over. Then, over to Maxwell!!!!!

My coffee in the ceramic mug has become cold, let me go and heat it up in the microwave :(:(

Got this as a fwd, found it very interesting - From a child's point of view

Hey friends, got this mail as a forward from my cousin, the author unknown. This is a well-written piece and thought of sharing with you all. Thanks to the unknown person who wrote this and his message is acknowledged. Hope you enjoy too.

WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING



When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately
wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind
to animals.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make my favorite cake for me, and I learned that the little things can be the special things in life.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I heard you say a prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could always talk to, and I learned to trust in Him.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I
learned that we all have to help take care of each other.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it, and I learned we have to take care of what we are given.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't
feel good, and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw tears come from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things
hurt, but it's all right to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw that you cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be..

When you thought I wasn't looking, I learned most of life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and
productive person when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I looked at you and wanted to say,’ Thanks for all the things I saw when
you thought I wasn't looking.'

Mirror, mirror on the wall, Who in the land is the fairest of all???

How many of us gaze and begin  a touch-up as soon as we see a mirror in front of us, unmindful of the place???  I am sure, all of you would be nodding your head, of course, with a smile on your lips.  This is but natural for all of us  to ensure that we look good at all times. 

This reflex action is not restricted to humans alone.  Even cats, dogs and birds react when they see their reflection in a mirror.  I have witnessed many instances when a sparrow keeps banging on the mirror upon seeing it reflect. 

I have seen many completing their final touch-ups in their car, I do so :):) The elevator (lift)  is another vital source which provides ample time to adjust in the absence of fellow members with you inside.  In shops, one can see the dresses displayed on oneself to  verify the suitability of color.  In some Chennai sari shops, they drape you with the sari to view in the life-size mirrors and to get approval from almost everyone present in the scene. 

Each of us feel that we look good inspite of our flaws.  To set right the flaws, we resort to make-ups and enhancements in the form of mascara, kajal, lip colors etc etc..  To perform the above acts, we take refuge in a mirror.  A lady in particular, would love to have a full size mirror in her house to get a full image.  Most of us would be carrying a palm-size mirror in our hand bags and this has come in several shapes now.   Nowadays, I see men too getting addicted to mirror gazing !!!!!!!

I would  recall the Scooty Pep advertisement in the television where the model would be adjusting her lipstick looking at the nearby car window and the person inside the car wondering what was happening. It was a good ad.

Vaastu experts have their say of the directions of the placement of mirrors in the house for maximum benefits.

It would not be an exaggeration if I say that 'Mirrors are humans best friends'. How often do u see yourself in a mirror during the day??????

International passengers carry interesting baggages, I do, do you?????

Hey friends, there was an interesting write-up in Times Of India where they found out that Indian passengers carry very interesting baggages from their homeland, some even mangoes and noodles too.

Middle east is the place where we get all the Indian products at Indian stores.  But, again if one is on the look out for a particular brand, then I am not sure if it is available.  I have known people carrying fresh jasmine flowers too as the travel time is only three hours from India.  On the personal front,  I find the spices are much more aromatic in India and feel that if I prepare Sambar powder with Indian stuff, the flavour is so authentic.  This stands first in my list of packages from Chennai.  Mustard seeds of that minute size is not available here,so I carry enough to last a few months.  Of course, goodies from Grand sweets or Adyar Ananda Bhavan is a must and my friends wait for those too.  Being a grandmom,  my mind is always on the look out for something unique that I can carry to US for my daughters and grand children especially the typical cotton clothes.

Back to my problem of what to carry and what not, as I visit US quite often, but annoyed by the recent restriction of the baggage weight. These airlines have become smart over the period. Earlier days, we were permitted to carry 2 baggages of 35 kgs each, and now only one baggage of 23 kg. Imagine 68% reduction in carrying capacity. This is very hard on us who wish to carry the entire world to our children and grand children. This family unfriendly decision by the Airlines industries is a great hurdle in promoting family values !!!. Here goes the list from Abu Dhabi to US. My relatives, friends and neighbours love to have the choco dates. It is a unique combination of dates stuffed with roasted almonds and dipped in milk chocolates packed attractively and provides the royal touch. Fresh motichooooor laddoo, how can I forget, at least a couple of kg from Chappanbogh is a must item. I prefer to carry plenty of Saggeei dates, nuts and Arabic sweets to give them the Middle east touch. So, having stuffed my suitcase with Chennai and Abu Dhabi purchases (remember 23 kgs), where is the scope for my personal items. Most of them goes into hand baggage and my husband will carry out inventory balancing and adjust the weights as if he would be in a position to hoodwink the checkin counter staff.

In reality,  to walk through with  hand bag  3 to 4 kgs above the limit,  brings out my hidden natural artist in me  every  time I check in at the airport.

At the airport, the check in bag cleared with 26 kgs  mmmmmm  great relief.  ‘Ma’m how about your hand baggage?’  My highly expressive enactment satisfied the counter staff  that it is not much beyond the permissible limit and here I gooooooooo.   What an effort to avoid few kgs of excess baggage. In spite of all this, I end up paying excess baggage most of the time, as I cannot forego some of the above items en route.

In my opinion, the body weight and the luggage weight  of the person should be a combined limit, so that sleek person like me can gain advantage !!!!!!!!!!

The power of Prayer

Most of the times, we resort into saying heavy slokas and stotrams in Sanskrit that we might not understand or even try to understand.  This reciting maybe as a result of practice or by repetition by elders at home.  In most of the households in South India, the morning begins with the tuning in of Vishnu Sahasranamam and over the years, the lyrics become familiar and without our knowledgee we tend to repeat.

On thinking about the same, one may wonder what is the use of this parroting?  Prayers can be simple dialogues between us and the Supreme.  When I got this forward, it served as an eye opener and proved a fitting reply to my doubts.  Am sure, many like me would be having the same view point and this would benefit them too.

An old farmer lived on a farm in the mountains with his young grandson. Each morning grandfather wakes up early sitting at the kitchen table reading  his Bhagavadh Geetha. His grandson wanted to be just like him and tried to imitate him in every way he could.

One day the grandson asked, "Grandpa! I try to read the Bhagavadh Geetha just like you but I don't understand it, and whatever I do understand,  I forget as soon as I close the book. What good does reading the Bhagavadh Geetha do?"

The Grandfather quietly turned from putting coal in the stove and replied,"Take this coal basket down to the river and bring me back a basket of water."

The boy did as he was told, but all the water leaked out before he got back to the house. The grandfather laughed and said, "You'll have to move a little faster next time," and sent him back to the river with the basket to try again. This time the boy ran faster, but again the basket was empty before he returned home. Out of breath, he told his grandfather that it was impossible to carry water in a basket, and he went to get a bucket instead.

The old man said, "I don't want a bucket of water; I want a basket of water. You're just not trying hard enough," and he went out the door to watch the boy try again.

At this point, the boy knew it was impossible, but he wanted to show his grandfather that even if he ran as fast as he could, the water would leak out before he got back to the house.

The boy again dipped the basket into river and ran hard, but when he reached his grandfather,  the basket was again empty. Out of breath, hesaid,"See Grandpa, it's useless!""So you think it is useless?" The old man said, "Look at the basket."

The boy looked at the basket and for the first time realized that the basket was different. It had been transformed from a dirty old coal basket to a clean one, inside and out.

"Son, this is what happens when you read the Bhagavath Geetha. You might not understand or remember everything, but when you read it, you will be changed, inside and out. That is the work of Krishna in our lives."

Was touched by the above story that I do not question myself when I read my daily slokas.

 

'Prayer requires more of the heart than the tongue '- Adam Clarke

Do you take personal time for yourself or do u ever have a 'lazy day"??????

Have you ever taken time to yourself? Think hard and I am sure that only few of us would have even thought of doing so. For most of us 'self' comes last. We are so busy with our household and family and just that, we do not think of us alone as an entity. 

Try to take a few minutes  just to yourself and see the wonder it creates. When one of my friend used to go on a short drive all by her own, I used to ponder what makes her  wander alone without her husband and children. Mused by her action, when questioned her , she just told me to take time off and see the difference in my moods and spirits. And indeed, it worked.  This need not be a weekend or a few days out from the family, only a few hours will do the wonder.  One need not always think of spending this leisure time outside but can be qualitatively spent elsewhere too.

Everyone needs a 'breather' sometime during the day when they would love to have some moments on their own. This 'breather' moment is a relaxing and rejuvenating one which would boost up their energy level. Even a perfectionist would love to have a break from the traditional routine.

I am sure everyone would love to have a  'lazy day' too.  Many would consider their weekends ' lazy days' as they wake up late and would be too happy not to follow any particular routine on that day. Some would prefer to just chill out over a burger and starbucks coffee or just 'window shopping'.

For some, the weather plays an important role in their 'cheer up'. Especially, if it is raining 'cats and dogs', one would prefer to have 'garam garam pakode and masala chai' to pep up the mood and then relax just enjoying the rainfall.  

Some of my friends are totally in relaxed mood when they visit their parents for a break.  A casual atmosphere always exists there and one gets a  total break from the needs of the children and of course the kitchen, courtesy our moms.  But, have you ever thought of giving a break to your mother??Please do, she deserves it very badly.

My version of 'lazy day' is,  when I finish my daily chores much ahead of the schedule and have the rest of the day only to myself. I love to browse, laze around with a hot cup of masala chai. How about you???? I thoroughly enjoy my 'gym' hours too.

Please enjoy  'few lazy hours' in your daily life and rejuvenate yourself.

'The real problem of leisure time is how to keep away others from using yours' - Arthur Lacey

Dedication to my father and father-in-law

As the whole world is celebrating Father's Day today, as I was reading some of the posts which my friends have posted about their Dad's, I was reeling back the quality time spent with my dad.

It is almost 25 years since he passed away, but his presence is felt everwhere and in all the chores I do.  I can recall each and every joke we shared, the undoubted support he gave in times when my ideas were opposed by my mom, the scooter rides to the school and later to the college bus stand etc etc.

He was a man of few words and my mom says that he spoke the most only with me.  My neighbours still recall the day when my father distributed Laddoos on the day I was born.  He was always proud of me in whatever I do, immaterial whether the act was a failure or success, such was the blind love.  His quiet and gentle nature is recalled even now by my relatives and friends.

The day of marriage, he just hugged me saying 'Silence is golden' and those words carried a million meanings within it.  Later, in my life after marriage, it was my father-in-law who played the role of my father and he used to take pride when someone asks him if I was his daughter.  Such was the relationship and we could talk for hours together, almost all the topics.  It was an easy-breezy relationship without any expectations or egos.  I am proud to quote that he had registered for my post graduation and B.Ed and encouraged me to complete them. 

Both of them are no more with me, but their sweet memories lingers which guides me even now in all my thoughts and actions.

A true dedication to both, appa, I love you!!!!!!!

"No matter how old you are, you still miss your Daddy" - Anonymous

A beautiful forward which is worth reading.

I received this forward from a friend and was overwhelmed as to how a beautiful message being conveyed through a dialogue between a pencil and an eraser.  This is a must read and am sure many of you must have received it already.  Anyways, am sure all of you would enjoy this.

Pencil: I'm sorry....

Eraser: For what? You didn't do anything wrong.

Pencil: I'm sorry cos you get hurt bcos of me. Whenever I made a mistake, you're always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself. You get smaller and smaller each time.

Eraser: That's true. But I don't really mind. You see, I was made to do this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. Even though one day, I know I'll be gone and you'll replace me with a new one, I'm actually happy with my job. So please, stop worrying. I hate seeing you sad. :)

I found this conversation between the pencil and the eraser very inspirational.

Parents are like the eraser whereas their children are the pencil. They're always there for their children, cleaning up their mistakes. Sometimes along the way... they get hurt, and become smaller (older, and eventually pass on). Though their children will eventually find someone new (spouse), but parents are still happy with what they do for their children, and will always hate seeing their precious ones worrying, or sad.

This is for all parents out there.....

DO NOT DESPAIR

While you smile at someone and if she does not return it,
Do not despair
She is still practising to use the 22 muscles to smile,  instead uses  37 to frown

While you use kind words, if he uses harsh words on you
Do not despair
She is still exploring her vocabulary in search of kind words

While you do good deeds, if she thinks of only harming you
Do not despair
She is still shut into negativity and would soon hope to start think positive

While you wish the best for her, if she does not reciprocate
Do not despair
She has yet to experience the joyous feeling of wishing good to others

You  keep ur smile in tact, use kind words and always wish the best for her
You will soon find a change in her, for sure.

Our nose- the perfect scent catcher

I recall the school days when I am on my way back home very hungry, could track all the delicacies being prepared for the so-called evening tiffin or dinner in our locality.  As soon as I would step inside my house, I would be able to confirm the cooking in the kitchen.  Of course, many of you would accept this verdict of mine and would have had the same experience too. 

Our nose is one of the most powerful organ of our body.  It is amazing to think how the nose can perceive the taste of a particular food item just by sensing the aroma.  As we pass by a bakery, the light molecules of the bakes mingles in the air and makes us drool even without visually seeing the product.  Such is the effect of smell. 

My neighbour  loves the divine smell emanicipating from my house during festival days. It would be a combination of agarbathi, camphor, elaichi and other delicacies especially prepared during those days.  The scents absorbed are so powerful that many can spell out the ingredients that went into the preparation of a particular dish in the neighbourhood.  I have seen many chefs, at first, giving a thorough inhale of the dish before tasting it which gives them the assurance that the dish is well cooked with great ingredients. 

At the same time, the nose is sensitive to stench too.  My grandfather can smell stench from a distance and would often complain of  burnt milk, dal in the kitchen or the blackened sabji.  Nothing can escape his nose.  Have you ever wondered how this happens?  At the top of our nasal passage, there are special neurons which are out in the open and they have small hair-like projections called cilia.When molecules from the odour binds with the cilia, we are able to perceive the smell.

I truly enjoy the divine, serine and unique smells, to name a few:

Damp soil of the first rain
Of the new-born
Freshly adorned henna
Just blooming jasmine

Sandal based agarbathi when lit
Freshly cooked food
Festive season
Fresh bakes from the oven

My favourite perfume
Freshly brewed coffee
Basmati rice while on the pot cooking
Mint and cilantro

Can go on and on but to agree in totality on one aspect - The natural smell of things created by Him has a divinity and that which cannot be recreated in its originality,  than the ones created by humans.

'If we breathe the scent of goodly grass, the fragrance of spices, the aroma of good fruits, we pronounce a blessing over the pleasure' - Shmuel Y Agnon

Brand value

It is very intriguing to know that we become slaves of a particular brand and do not even give a second thought to try something new.  In the 60's and 70's there was the 'Det' and 'Sway' brand of washing detergents and have seen only these in almost everyone's house.   Sometimes, just to rejuvenate the customers, they used to give something free alongwith the purchase of the product . I still have a teaspoon with 'Sway' on it, duly passed on to me by my mother :):)Again, there was 'Horlicks', and 'Ovaltine' etc etc.

The advantage of sticking to a product is that we can blindly pick it up  without having to go through the details and the reviews it is attached with.  Sometimes, even a slight change in the packing would bring in a small quantum of doubt, we normally would prefer to stick to the original one.  We can hardly see these products being advertised often,  as they have a dedicated fleet of followers who, no matter what, would not ditch them.  Colgate, Lux and Nescafe are a few popular brands which have very loyal followings and they too live up to our expectations.  When customers are satisfied with a brand, it is very difficult to erase the loyalty and bring in a new item.  Nowadays, the trend is to give small satchet samples alongwith leading magazines to lure the customers and introduce their product.  This is very effective advertising.

Here, in the UAE, I have a set of products which appears in my 'To do' list every month.  I do not have the patience or preference to even look at any new ones which may arrive in the market.  Only when any relatives or friends drop in, we pick up any recommended items which they had used and thus enters one or two new ones to my household.

The following apply only to those people who settle down in a place without the hassle of transfers and newfound jobs.  I can still recall the faces of vegetable vendors who used to come home and supply them and according to seasons this would vary.   We had the luxury of having farm fresh vegetables daily and never stored any as now.  No questions asked, no bargains, just the supply and a final tip of some coriander, curry leaves, adrak and green chillies free !!!!  Even the vendors are confident that they would be able to sell  whatever they get from the main market.   During the mango season, she used to come with a big knife to chop the mangoes for pickles, free service for the purchase of her mangoes.  Everyone had a name to be referred to with a suffix like 'akka (big sister) or 'amma' (referring madam in that situation).  It was not just selling vegetables, she would enquire about each and everyone in the family and would genuinely participate in the 'sukh-dukh' of our family, these people can also be called as their own brand ambassadors, if I may say so.

I would love to know if you stick to a brand or free to try new ones, unlike me :):):):)

" Brand value is very much like an onion.  It has layers and a core.  The core is the user who will stick with you until the very end" - Edwin Artzt

Where are we heading to ????????

My parents hail from Palghat, Kerala  and hence obviously the oil used at home for cooking was the pure coconut oil. My mom used coconut oil for everything,  right from making puris, pappadams , vadams, curry etc etc. The re-usable coconut oil is called ' chuttennai' and is very aromatic when used for paruppu podi rice or for molagapodi.  But, the recent studies show that oil should not be re-used.   Inspite of  daily intake of coconut oil, my parents did not have  trace of either cholestrol or any heart related problems till their death.   Walking was the only regular exercise for them and a daily visit to the Kapali temple was a must.  My mother  used to sweep and mop the house on her own. We never had washing machine. Of course, we had a maid but my mother used to help her while manual wash.  My dad would never take his scooter or car for nearby visits. He would prefer to walk. Maybe those were the physical movements which kept them healthy. And indigestion means intake of either Dasamoolarishtam or Jeerakarishtam (Ayurvedic prep.). Headache calls for oil bath and other minor ailments is corrected with simple home remedies. I do not recall heaps and heaps of medicines at home except for a pad or two of Saridons and Anacins.

It would be injustice if I do not mention that my lunch and dinner should have at least two teaspoons of ghee liberally poured by my mother into my piping hot steaming rice.  No chapathis,only rice be it lunch or dinner.  Sweets were luxuriously prepared with generous portions of ghee and what not. I have not seen any of the elders in my household coming up with demands of sugarless coffee or 'no sweets' etc etc .

Present Scenario:

Gone are the days of Idli or Dosa for breakfast.  Now the main trend is either Oats or Raagi kanji or some Health mix for breakfast. I can see more of salads on the dining table. Toned or low fat milk is in great demand. I can also see young teens who say 'No to sweets' totally.  But, still the hospitals are flooded with patients affected by unheard diseases.

I find Gyms in nook and corner of Chennai now. But, with the same note, I can see many fast food joints too.  When I visit a Department store, I see lot of health products and health drinks and if I buy something I am advised. to look at the packet for %age of fat and transfat. :):).

On one hand, it is good to note that people are choosing healthy diets and feel nice about having a slim healthy figure.  But, there is also the concern of the fast spreading unhealthy quick bites at joints by youngsters and the old. I find more obese people among the age group of 17 to 30 which is very disturbing.    I wonder what could be the reason of this sudden  outburst of many unknown and new diseases even among the youngsters.   Is it the stressed life style? Is everybody trying to achieve something beyond their reach?I ponder and ponder but I am echoed by a stiff silence.

"So many people spend their health gaining wealth, and then have to spend their wealth to regain their health." ~A.J. Reb Materi, Our Family

A day of fender-bender!!!!!!!

This was  Monday and as usual the morning began with the so-called 'Monday blues' feeling.   I woke up at 5 am as usual and began to ponder about the chores spread in front of me for the next 12 hours.  The first job would be the cooking and packing dabbas for the family.  Then, the traffic and then the work place.  I put an end at this juncture and entered the kitchen with a big obeisance to the deities residing in my kitchen.  One portion of the kitchen which has a separate platform has been assigned to the Gods and Goddesses.  After lighting the lamp, dished out the required sabji and kept dal in the pressure cooker.  I had lots of coconuts (whole) (courtesy Navrathri visits to friends), so thought of preparing some dish with coconut.  Veggies cut ,dal getting ready, coconut getting ready for grinding, preparing masalas for the sabji, rice in the rice cooker - who says women can't  multitask.

I could see some of my clothes had entered the drying sector of the washing machine but not performed the action.  Immediately, upon checking the power, I found the wire has been plugged off and connected to the microwave which shares the same switch board.  Obviously someone in the family forgot to replug.  This means another 5 minutes of extra time to be spent on the drying part as I machine dry only 75% and then hang  the clothes in the clothesline.  Sulking at the extra drying work, switched on the washing machine.Phooof!!!!

The whole house  engulfed in darkness.  Bare silence for a few minutes and then I could hear one by one calling out as to what had happened.  I do not visualise any concern in the call, but the air conditioners in their respective rooms have tripped too.  If it had been Chennai, I would have happily opened all the windows for the fresh air to seep in, and that would have given my family few more minutes of the morning sleep.  But, in this place, they r all huge glass windows and numerous buildings nearby which would never allow any fresh air to the house during the grim summer mornings.

Now, it struck  me that this was the day of disaster and had begun early in the morning.  To top it all, the gas solenoid valve is also interconnected and that was the end to that too. The house in darkness and no gadgets working, my head was spinning.  For  a moment, I did not know where to begin and do what.  As the oil lamp was already lit, I tried to figure out for the torch and reached to the main switch board.  Scanning at close encounters, I could see the main switch had tripped. Slowly, I brought it back to position and could see all the gadgets back to action.  Heaving a sigh of relief, rushed to the kitchen. Already lost precious 15 minutes in all these activities.

Was wondering if I should go ahead with the drying and it took less than a few seconds to say 'NO'.  Cooking was in progress and the coconut was ready for grinding and whoops, the blender would not work. The fuse must have given away when the power tripped.  Too late to think of another recipe to dish out at this moment.  So, it was going to be just dal tadka:):)  My thoughts raced to my mother's place and in the same situation, she would have been there at the grinding stone completing the work without a complaint. None of us would have given much concern about the tripping and all the jobs would have been completed  as usual except that it would have been my mom's worry to set it right before we return back home, poor she.  One never realises the grimness of any situation unless u experience it on a personal level. 

The final tamasha was when I began to take the shower. The hot water would not budge in as I waited and waited and waited. It did not take much time to realise that this was another one who had taken casual leave without notice and brrrrrrr the water was cold and it was a real quick bath :):)  Now, I realise what it takes my boss to get triggerred, if anyone takes leave without notice, it is bad.

But, with the help from my family members, the day took off and ended pretty decent inspite of the spate of early morning activities.

It gives me shudders to even think what would happen if all the  gadgets failed  at the same time.  We can manage the dining part with plenty of restaurants ready to cater us, but for washing,cleaning, grinding, storing etc. etc., there is  no other alternative. I cannot even faintly opt to do my grinding in the grinding stone or  hand wash all my clothes etc etc. 

Moral of the story: Do not wait till Monday morning to dry your clothes :):

Chitchatcrossroads - One year old :):)

A milestone achieved and thanks to all my friends for the encouragement and the support. A big thanks to my fellow contributors for helping achieve this milestone. It is hard to believe that a year has passed since we started our blog. I still recall the healthy debate among the family members regarding the title of the blog, the contents etc etc. And 'Chitchatcrossroads' was chosen unanimously as ours was not an exclusive food blog and the title should truly relate to the contents published.

 My first blog was about my travel experience to the US, which was a true episode translated into words.  This ordeal  might have been experienced by many like me and it is to the individual to tackle the situation and come out of it.   Although I have made many trips to US since, this ordeal remains and would live with me throughout.  Again, the 'Lone Daniya' was about the whole and sole daniya (cilantro)  which sprung out, just to encourage me and indeed that was my hand in gardening for the first time too. Gardening is not as simple as just planting a sapling.  It requires the care and love almost as raising a child.  This Lone daniya made me develop a beautiful indoor garden with about 20 plants adorning my drawing room.  My other blog "Ignorance is a bliss" evoked much response as much as 'Platform No.1'.   Very often we come across people who play a small role in our moving life and ever remain there, thus making a dent in our hearts.  Thus, was this boy selling 'chai' in the Egmore station who I might not meet again, but he has carved a place in my thoughts and reached you all too. 

Small poems like the 'LIMIT' and the 'Forget not' were liked by many and happy that it reached out to their hearts. Children, unaware of the parents' feelings, does not often communicate and keeps them under suspense.   Those 'two minute' talk or chat would do wonders in their parents' lives.  'Specatular spectacles' and 'Gold facial' brought a smile into many and I personally enjoyed writing my experience at the parlour :) There are times in our lives which brings some sunshine to the routine life.  Very often, these are embedded in our daily lives and there is no need to go and look out for those moments, they always exist  around us and it is for the individual to watch out for those  and enjoy them thoroughtly.

'Sun lover' too was a true experience of the loneliness felt with the weather change.  This is quite prominent in the Western countries where there are distinct climate changes.  Weather plays an important role in our psyche.  Summer and spring brings in cheers and winters bring in solitude alongwith it. It is upto the individual to put on a brave front and overcome any anxiety associated.

As  my children are not  very conversant in their mother tongue  and that made me write 'Mother tongue=Native language=???' which was chosen as the 'Tangy Tuesday pick' by Blogadda.com.  Many of my frends were able to relate themselves to the story of 'My friend Kamala' and am sure there is a Kamala in most of our lives. 'Advertisement and the wonder years' brought back nostalgic memories to many  of us as we all reach out to ads and simply love them. My bloglist would not be complete if I do not mention about the four parts on 'Pranayamam and its benefits' by my husband which I hope would have benefitted many of my blogger friends.

When it came to the recipes, most of them were home cooked on a routine basis, but some were delicacies and it is a norm now to ask my children if they had clicked enough of the  new dishes they prepare :):)Learning the art of perfect photography too, thanks to blogging again.

That was a short glimpse of our journey of 365 days. Of course, acquired tons of friends during the journey and now blogging has become a daily feature in our lives.  This has gone to such an extent that if I do not get a comment from a regular visitor, I start wondering what is happening and  why they have not commented:):)

Happy Blogging!!!!!!!!

"A milestone passed, new things begun, dreams as shining as the sun, a goal achieved, a victory won!!!!! - Unknown

Unique quotient of Relationships

Talk about any relationship, be it  between relatives or friends, is very unique and abstract.  Strange is the thought of how this develops. When a man and a woman enters into a marital relationship, they take a vow to be there for each other under the same roof.  Over a period of togetherness, they develop an unbreakable bond for which there cannot be a 'term'.  As time passes by, the man and the woman become very good friends surpassing their physical attractions.  This is only a general statement and might not be true in many cases.

A small example to cite: This is about a couple who had been married for a few months and the closeness between them is just building up.  The man meets with an accident and is in a critical state.  The wife is beside him 24 hours. His siblings fly from here and there to be with him.. When the man comes  out of the danger state, he tells proudly to his friends about the air dashing of his brothers and sisters who had come to see him and how much they love each other.  His friend replied that his siblings had to come as it is a blood relation and it is natural for them being drawn  closer in times of difficulties. But, he should,  in turn be proud of his wife who has been connected with him only for a few months and is there shedding tears and keeping vigil 24 hours with prayers at heart. That is the greatness of this relationship. This feeling of belongingness goes much beyond  the marital status. 

Relationship is the vibe one feels when you get along with someone. Not everyone can gel with anyone. It is an unique quotient .   Relationships widen as we grow and meet more people in different places.  But, do we recall each and everyone of them?  Travel is an ideal time when you meet new people but most of them bid goodbye once the purpose is contained.  I know of many of my relatives and friends who share the most wonderful relationship with their pets. This is an inner feeling which is shown and reciprocated.

It is difficult to build a relationship but dissolves so easily without we realizing that it has ended. There are other  times  when you meet your friend after a few years, you can sense the current flowing between each other. It looks as if you had not missed much and easy to get back to the news of the good old days and also updation of each other.

It is fact that we cannot live alone,need to have someone to talk to and exchange views and news.  I am sure many of us would be having someone , be it a friend or sibling with whom you can confide all your feelings.  For some of us, it may be the spouse himself.  Relationship develops on its own over a period of time and it is worth all the treasures of the world. There are some who come close to us and leave footprints and we are never the same again.

Was impressed by the following quote, hence thought would share with you all.  Do try to revive your old  friendship and also develop new ones.

'You can kiss your family and friends good-bye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you.' ~Frederick Buechner

Is ignorance a bliss?????

Recently, one of my close friend was complaining of  severe stomach ache.  The pain was unbearable and extended for more than a week and it was not subsiding with painkillers. There were numerous suggestions and kitchen remedies pouring in and dutifully, she observed everything but in vain. I strongly suggested that she should stop self medication and visit a doctor soon. After a couple of days of me making the suggestion, when I called her, she was a bit reluctant to speak about the subject and began to give me excuses for not having visited the doctor yet. I was quite upset by her sluggishness and decided to take the first step of escorting her to the hospital myself.

She was too scared to even think she would have any problem. After the physical examination, Dr.wanted a few tests to be done. The basic tests were OK with her but when it came to ultrasound, she out-rightly refused and would not budge. After so much coaxing and advises, I took her for the scan. When the results came, they diagnosed a growth in her uterus and further investigations need to be done. I cannot describe the night when we received the result. She decided that she is having cancer and that is the end. No amount of consolation or cajoling was working with her. It was just sobbing and crying. I felt really bad for the situation but things had to be done. A Hystoscopy was conducted and we were awaiting the biopsy result. The results were to be got after a couple of days. When we called the hospital, they conveyed that the Pathologist wanted a couple more days in stain to get the exact result. This again raised the blood pressure and tension of all of us at our homes, and you can imagine the plight of my friend. She was throwing tantrums, would not eat but just keep telling what she would be missing in life, especially the marriage of her children, etc etc. (Now, she had reconciled to herself that she is having cancer and she could remember someone in her family had similar symptoms too )

Finally, when we received the result, it was a benign growth but had to be operated upon. On hearing that it was not malignant, I can still remember her sobbing of relief. There was the happy ending with the surgery and she is recovering well.

As we have the desire to get educated of various symptoms for various diseases either through hearsay or thro' the net and television, when we have a simple health problem, immediately our minds work faster and co-relates to the extremes like cancer or any such major illness. This induces so much stress and pressure to the self and the family till the results are obtained. No doubt, we should be alert of any abnormal symptoms of our body and get diagnosed at once, but this acquired knowledge proves to increase mental strain and unwanted tension. So, now I am pondering if Ignorance is bliss but at what cost????? Confused !!!!!!!!

"We live longer than our forefathers; but we suffer more from a thousand artificial anxieties and cares. They fatigued only the muscles, we exhaust the finer strength of the nerves. ~Edward George Bulwer-Lytton"

Platform No.1

I was travelling by train to Trichy with my family about a month back.  Since, it was a last minute travel, we could not get air tickets and so decided to go by train.  It was a much awaited train travel after a long time and so was the excitement.  We had to board the train from Egmore station.  The departure was at 10.15 in the night so was quite happy with the timing.  Very ideal in the sense that we would have a quick dinner at home and would reach Trichy for breakfast.  This was the best that could happen. No hassle of packing dinner etc. Just a bottle of water was suffice. 

But, when we reached the station, the first thing  our eyes met was the Adyar Ananda Bhavan Stall flooded with sweets and savouries. I, especially love their Chivda mixture, Butter murukku and the Kara sev.  With meaningful exchanges with my daughters, we headed towards it and came back with a few filled plastic covers.  We also collected some magazines from a book stall nearby.  The train journey itself calls for munching and reading, not to be missed at any cost.  As we were settling down in our seats,  we could see a small boy selling  'garam chai' in mud pots.  We could already sense the aroma of the same and was ready for a hot cup.  We got 4 chais and started sipping, it was heavenly.  As he did not have the change, he told he would come and collect money from us later. By the time, our chai  was getting over, we could hear the whistle and the train started moving.  The boy, not to be seen anywhere.  As it was the air condition coach, there was no way of calling  or looking  out for him from the window.  A peep from the door did not yield any results.  Our spirits were dampened.  What a way to start our trip !!!!!

Then came Mambalam and Tambaram, he was not to be seen.  By this time, we had no hope of seeing him again.  As we were  settling in our beds, came the Chengalpet station and we could hear the train stop with a 'thud'.   We could hear a faint 'chai chai' sound too.  At 11.30 in the night, there he is,  in all smiles.  He apologised that he was late to collect his dues.  He also gave us some more news that he is happy, his pot was over finally.  He happily collected not a paise more from us and was waiting to get down.  I was too happy to hand him the Anand Bhavan snacks too which he started to devour immediately, sure must be hungry.  I am sure,by the time he reaches his so-called home, it would be past midnight, only to awake to sell more ' chais' the next day.

We headed back to Chennai within a couple of days.  As we were reaching Egmore station, all our eyes were looking out for the boy selling chai.  There he was :):) Not to miss the moment, we had his chai and then proceeded home.  These are some moments of life, to be remembered at all times.

Getting a cup of 'garam chai' at a station especially,  is a very uneventful incident to most of us.  Thinking deeply, I wonder what this boy would be doing after 10 years, maybe still selling 'chai' or maybe elevated to the post of managing a stall in Egmore. Life is very uncertain for him but appreciate his spirits of working hard to earn a rupee instead of resorting to begging.  Next time when you travel, please be sure to get a cup of 'chai'.

Forget not !!

Couple of generations back, where the system of joint family set up was widely prevalent, as the age progressed in the family household, there was no loneliness or the fear of abandonment.  The house used to be flooded with granchildren and other family members who was always ready at their call.  Now, I could visibly see elderly couple staying alone as their children settled abroad in search of better prospects. Recently, at a wedding in Chennai, I noticed that the majority of attendees were elderly people and the younger generations were visibly absent. Most of the elders who attended had a recent trip abroad and was engaged in, who saw what.  I was feeling happy at these dialogues but at the same time could sense some sort of remorse in their voices. 

They were a happy family
With children, a couple
Huddling in their small house
In warmth and full of love

As children grew up,
So were their dreams
They dreamt to give them
Whatever they could not achieve

As years passed by
They found the children away
Miles and miles apart
But close to their hearts

Technology made them feel closer
With webcams and chats
But  missed the caress and touch
And little odd things

Still they claim
They have done their best
To find better pastures
For their children

Would love to tell u all
Not to miss a mail
Or a phone now and then
For two souls would be waiting for them.